EP123:  You Are Not Alone (Even If It Looks And Feels Like It), With Kat TK

What a delight it is to be back on my podcast.  I’ve been MIA for over 6 months. This podcast gives you a little insight into what I’ve been up to.  Yikes.

“You Are Not Alone” is a wonderful song by Michael Jackson.  Have a listen!

Today, I talk about my near-death experience and how even when you feel alone, you are not. 

Ultimately, when we feel alone, we want to remember to love ourselves. To do that, we must start to uncover, love, and heal, our core wounds. Feelings like “I’m not enough. I’m too much. I’m not worthy.  I’m not lovable.”  Watch this video to hear me talk about this:

Core wounds are related to shame and abandonment and can lead to apathy, which lies at the bottom of the Map of Consciousness.

I interviewed Dr. Mario Martinez about core wounds, which he calls “archetypal wounds” or “dampers of becomingness”; in his framework, they include shame, abandonment, and betrayal.

But In today’s solo cast, I share my own story.  Gulp.  Get ready for me to be vulnerable and share some deep stuff.  I offer 11 mantras, which I call “Midwest Mantras” (since I am currently recording in the Midwest).

Thank you for listening.  Feel free to drop me a note on my Contact page or on social media if you have any questions or comments.

Mantra #1:  Embrace stillness when possible– even in the chaos; rest when you can.

(A helpful tool for this process is the “Lake Meditation” by Dr. Jon Kabat Zinn and Dr. Andrew Weil– a FAVORITE).

Mantra #2:  When all is lost, do a wheely!

Mantra #3: Feel your feelings; feel to heal. 

Since when is it crazy to be angry?  Since when is it illegal to be angry? 

I tell the story of almost getting arrested by the local cops while sitting in a bathtub of mud, trying to cool off. Yes, I had just had a crazy explosion of emotion and release during some back-to-back therapy appointments that I actually did not want to attend. See Mantra #9.  It would have been better for me to have set some boundaries and said “I need a nap more than I need therapy today, thank you.”  This leads to the next Mantra…

Mantra #4: Assign yourself a time-out – especially when you are about to blow it. 

I hope you don’t “blow it” the way I did with my family.  You can’t take back things you say.  Even if what you are sharing are “truths,” remember that having a FILTER is a good relationship tool.  Sharing your truths- in the form of a verbal firehose of vomit- is not helpful to those you love.   

So what I suggest (for myself from now on!) is to give myself a time out in the same way that I did when my kids were little.  1, 2, 3, Magic (remember that book?). My kids thought I was counting for THEM, I was counting for ME!  (Boy, I needed those time-outs when I was a mom of young kids!).

For you: Take a nap, meditate, go for a walk, but learn to self-regulate so that you don’t blow up your relationships and your life!!

Reminds me of that great song by INXS (Mediate): 

“Self regulate, try not to hate, love your mate, don’t suffocate on your own hate” etc.!

Mantra #5: Your basic needs are the following: food, shelter, and companionship. 

We can debate if there are other needs, which I do believe include water and certain other support, and I am working on a daily planner that will incorporate these items. Reach out to me if you’d like to see an early edition.

Mantra #6: The new paradigm of win-win includes a third win. 
1. Win for self

2. Win for other

3. Win for the higher good*

*This goes beyond the Steven Covey “win-win” because we can start to include what is a win for the Higher Good.  It is time we shift the paradigm

Mantra #7: Sometimes what looks like shit is actually gold. Watch the video below to learn more:

Mantra #8: Simplify.

Mantra #9:
Create good boundaries to help you manage the amount of pain you can handle in a single day, week, month, or year (or lifetime).

Mantra #10:
  Parents – remember the importance of unconditional love.

Elena and Alexander, I love you SO MUCH!!

Mantra #11:  Love yourself. Watch the video below to learn more:

During this interview, I introduce a new book I’m working on. This self-help book will provide, among other things, advice about how we can navigate the changes we are experiencing in the paradigm shift happening today.

I also mention a few times the work of Dr. Bruce Lipton who was a faculty member at Quantum University. I highly recommend checking out his work.

Watch the full podcast episode below:

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